SADDAM HUSSEIN

Even without judging him for his actual crimes, I still don't like him. Even though during his trial, he looked the best he ever has, he was still an angry, bitter man.

I only wish they would have given me a little more notice on when his hanging was going down. Because meanwhile, I'm predicting Della Reese.

It just shows how behind I am. Della Reese will probably outlive me.

Next Celebrity Death Prediction: Keith Richards.

WIND IT UP BY GWEN STEFANI

"Wind It Up" received generally negative reviews by contemporary pop music critics, and many criticized the inclusion of the The Sound of Music sample. All Music Guide said that the song's producers (The Neptunes) forced the sampling into one of their typical minimalist tracks, over which Gwen spouts off clumsy material-minded lyrics touting her fashion line and her shape". Chuck Taylor of Billboard magazine referred to the song as "a musical brain aneurysm", while Bill Lamb of About.com stated that it "gets high marks for entertainment value... but [it] sounds almost like a retread of old ground".

from Wikipedia

Ooo, do Edelweiss next!!!! Pale slag.

FANTASTIC FOUR 2 - RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER TEASER

Being able to turn into a speeding fireball = A pointless, horrible superpower.

Being made of stainless steel, being able to fly, being able to traverse through any material... all while on a surfboard = Fucking random much?

Jessica Alba: "Oh my god Johnny!!!! Did you see that guy on a surfboard flying around the city skyline? Stop him before he destroys the earth with his totally stupid, non-threatening abilities!!!!"

Please, what's he going to do? Embarass the earth to death?

Could these movies possibly get any more painful?

ROCKY BALBOA NOT BOMBING

There isn't much in this world, but at least people still have the decency to show a little respect for their rich cultural history. I totally expected this to bomb hard. I guess I have a very undeserved low expectation of the general American/Australian public.

Now let's treat Rambo with the same respect. Okay?

HOW PEOPLE HAVE MADE SANDRA SULTRY A HOUSEHOLD NAME

Fucking MORONS!!! It's evident in the ratings, noone even watches The Wedge. So its clear that you know the show is shit as.

So then it should also be clear that the HORRIBLE running joke of Sandra Sultry is as shit as, if not SHITTER than the entirety of The Wedge.

If I hear one more person treat the name Sandra Sultry like it's some fantastic pop culture term that has been adopted into the 'Aussie' vernacular, I'm going to buy 'The Wedge: Vol. 2 - Lucky', serrate the edges of the discs and slice your face into fifths. You hear me?

Quote The Wedge and die! Watch The Wedge... and you die a little inside, obv.

GUYS THAT ARE UNMISTAKABLY GAY

If there is such thing as gaydar, this guy would be a friggin' fleet of zeppelins.

MOVIES ABOUT PENGUINS

Who can explain to me the box office enormity of penguins?

Madagascar. March of the Penguins. Happy Feet. Farce of the Penguins. Surf's Up.

These are birds sanctioned off by natural selection. They can't fly, they can't nest, they can't warble. Evolution actually chose them to be the retards of their genus. They are the most handicapped of birds.

You know... after the emu.

Penguins aren't as cute as everyone thinks. They shit, they fight, they stink and they are dirty. Can we please just move onto movies about more interesting animals? Like the tapir?

JONATHAN

Frankly, I'm sad to see him go. He was right, he did deserve to stay at least one more week.
Jonathan had something a few of the others didn't have. A dignified way of reasoning. Where everyone else would make an ass of themselves, Jonathan thrived.
Which is more than I can say for someone like that fat-headed child Nate, who goes into hysterics everytime someone speaks out against Jonathan. Shut the fuck up Nate. You're dead! You died like 3 weeks ago. You lose!

Unfortunately, Jonathan = Dead.

SPIKE LEE'S JAMES BROWN BIOPIC

Just one day after the death of James Brown at age 73 from congestive heart failure, Spike Lee has been signed to direct a biographical movie about the singer, Daily Variety reported today (Wednesday). The trade publication said that the "authorized project" is being developed by Brian Grazer at Paramount, with production likely to begin in 2008.

From IMDb Studio Briefing

How to make a James Brown biopic:

1. Copy/paste the script of Ray.
2. Delete banter about being blind and replace it with getting multiple facelifts.
3. Delete the name Ray Charles from the memoriam at the end with James Brown.
4. Get someone to impersonate Brown really well so that people will think it's a good movie when it really isn't.
5. Bask in the money flow from the movie and the hundred other cash-in compilation albums scheduled to coincide with it's release.

TYLER MANE AS MICHAEL MYERS

Director/hell rocker Rob Zombie’s self-styled re-imagining of Halloween is well under way. Zombie has announced on his MySpace page that he’s found his new Michael Myers. It’ll be wrestler Tyler Mane. If you’re not a wrestling fan, then you probably know him best as Sabertooth in the first X-Men movie. He also played Rufus in Zombie’s last movie, The Devil’s Rejects. Zombie says, “Tyler is mean, lean and ready to bring you the most psychotic Michael Myers yet.”

From CinemaBlend

What a bold, heavy step into a grungier, trashy Americana direction. I am loving this movie more and more. Halloween might prove to be one of the biggest cinema highlights for me in 2007. I don't even mind if Mr Mane keeps the long hair. In fact, I encourage it.

THE SHINING BOOK COVER ART

You know what? I would go out of my way to NOT own a book with a cover so repugnant and shitty-looking. Now that's marketing!

It looks more like the box for a text based adventure game for a Tandy 400.
And check the shoddy impression of a mentally tormented kid. It looks like The Emperor from Star Wars at the age of 4. Wow, brooding...

Get it out of my sight.

UWE BOLL

I will not hear a word against this wonderful man! He's the ultimate human paradox. His lack of talent completely makes up for his lack of talent. It's a beautiful cycle that engrosses and overwhelms me. His films are timeless in a way he shall never care to realise.
May his reputation never precede him.

THE ! IN P!NK

Guh.
As if the name Pink isn't fucking obscure enough. What an absolutely pretentious biyatch!

And I think we'd all agree that was truly worthy of exclamation.

ENTOURAGE - SEASON 1

Is it the best show ever? No way.

But is it kinda okay middle-ground entertainment? Pretty much, yeah.

JUDY THE ELF

Judy appears in the hit 1994 movie, The Santa Clause, starring Tim Allen. She did not return in that movie's two sequels. Was this ever explained?

Personally, I like to think that, following the events that transpired in The Santa Clause, Judy went completely postal due to work-related stress and brutally murdered a great many of her fellow elf employees, including her boyfriend who worked in the wrapping department (but not including Bernard, who was the one who notified authorities). She was later apprehended trying to flee Antarctica and was sentenced to be hanged. After several appeals were denied, Judy the Elf was executed 3 months before the events of The Santa Clause 2.

Dumbass creepy little Judy the Elf BITCH!

THE WORD 'XMAS'

Oh what, saying the word Christ is beneath you? You think that resorting to something neutral makes taking part in a holiday steeped in Christian tradition okay?

Anyone arrogant enough to rename a quite ancient ritual to suit their own alien beliefs deserves to be stabbed to death with a sharpened candy cane.

JAMES BROWN

It was just yesterday that I predicted Mickey Roonie to be the next to go. Could I have been more wrong?

Sure he looked like a black version of Jim Carrey's The Mask, and sure I never caught his toe-tapping, boogie woogie soul fever, but I do genuinely believe that Mr Brown's death is somewhat of a loss.

Next Celebrity Death Prediction: Della Reese.

BAD BOYS AS A CHRISTMAS EVE MOVIE

A 6:30pm showing of ET: The Extra Terrestrial is only just relevant to the evening, considering how family friendly it is.

But Bad Boys? As in two black men busting caps all over LA? What kind of sick randomness is this?

Hasn't Channel Ten ever heard of such proved festive classics as Jingle All The Way? At least the duo of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad is both funnier and more dynamic than Smith and Lawrence jive talking their way through a gang war.

MICKEY ROONEY, CIRCA 2006

When does this guy plan on retiring??? How many roles in Hollywood call for a 150 year old man with a mindset stuck in the early forties?

Mickey Roonie: "I once went on a date with Judy Garland."

Yes, that's nice! What was that, sixty years ago? Nowadays the only dates you have are with a dialysis machine.

Next Celebrity Death Prediction: Mickey Rooney.

HOW QUICKLY EVERYONE FORGAVE MEL GIBSON

I think it's finally a step in the right direction for America, the Jewish people and the overall Earth population that it can finally be affirmed that what Gibson said was never even that bad to begin with. I hear people every single day saying things against Muslim, Asian or homosexual communities that are at least 4 times worse that anything Melb rambled about without one single rammafication or bat of an eyelid. And it was those same people that were all pissy at the revelation of him being a bigot.

Hopefully, it's a sign that everyone has realised the hypocrisy in hating someone for anti-semetism, when they themselves are as descriminatory as the next person. But it's probably the fact that everyone has just forgotten and has already braced themselves for the next ten scandalous Hollywood moments in 2007.

MULTIGRAIN BREAD

Mmmm. Grains. Multiplied by bread. Equals tasty snackable.

PEOPLE THAT ARE GIVING RACH FROM MYSPACE REALLY GOOD COMMENTS

Graduation: Diko n I

BatDog
20 Nov 2006 4:03 AM
diko is a lucky man
you saphire eyes accentuate your dazling gown
absolutly stunning photo
your jewels look fabulous
I bet you had fun together after the graduation ;)

I know that this contains all the properties of a joke comment... but guys... what if it isn't....?

DING DONG! MERRILY ON HIGH

Ding Dong! merrily on high
In heav'n the bells are ringing
Ding, dong! verily the sky
Is riv'n with angel singing
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis

E'en so here below, below
Let steeple bells be swungen
And i-o, i-o, i-o
By priest and people be sungen
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis

Pray ye dutifully prime
Your matin chime, ye ringers
May ye beautifully rime
Your evetime song, ye singers
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis.

Give me an archaic Anglo-Latin hymn over Bing Crosby's godawful crooning about shit like snowmen ANYDAY!

NIGHTMARES ABOUT TEETH

Last night, I dreamt that I woke up from a slumber in my bathroom with all my teeth all jagged and cracked away. And then I woke up back to reality in a serious panic, and checked if my teeth were still intact.

............They were.

I described the dream to my friend, which I often do for a bit of a laugh. She gave me a link to a dream analysis website that offered me a little insight into the freakish world of the subconscious.

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. Sadly, we live in a world where good looks are valued highly and your teeth play an important role in conveying that image. Teeth are used in the game of flirtations, whether it be a dazzling and gleaming smile or affectionate necking. These dreams may stem from a fear of your sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. Teeth are an important feature of our attractiveness and presentation to others.

From DreamMoods.com

Well this is a little more than semi-ironic, because the only time my smile is ever dazzling and the only ever time I get some serious necking action is in my dreams. Which is exactly where I have the problem of teeth breaking out of my mouth. I can't win. Not even within my own dreamscape.

GRACE'S LETTER IN FOXTEL MAGAZINE

My name is Grace and I am 10 years old. I just wanted to let you know that the UKTV show How Clean Is Your House? is the best show in the world so you should consider putting it on all the time.
Grace, via email

From Foxtel Magazine, January 2006 Issue

Why did they even print this? What, they thought it was cute that some little girl wanted them to dispose of all their other programming in favour of showing nothing but How Clean Is Your House? That's not cute, that's downright fucking selfish.
Grace is a little whore.

AARON CARTER

He is such a painfully hideous human being. Which naturally makes him an awesome reality TV star.

INTERNET EXPLORER 7

A quicker way to add a page to Favourites and an in-window tab system.

Well, I don't know about you, but now I feel completely poised on the cutting edge of up-to-date technological advancement.

Thanks Microsoft. You've literally shaved 2 microseconds off of my day to day schedule. Give your tech support team a good pat on the back. Just don't be offended if I dont include you in my Favourites.

LOOK BOTH WAYS

And this won Best Film, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay at the 2005 AFI Awards how?
It's depressing when an industry becomes mediocre at heaping accolades on its own equally mediocre produce.

COLES' MAGAZINE ADS

Coles Marketing Angle (Print-based Medium) for 2006 Fiscal Year: Basic. Eye-catching. Warm, summer colours. Contrasting colours for product. A pun. Foodstuffs always to be depicted unappealingly and slathered it in some sort of salsa. Enforcement of the fact that the consumer will love Coles if we tell them to. Emphasis on salsa. Emphasis on cheapness of foodstuff. Top priority on informing target demographics that cheap, uninventive packaging equals a satisfactory shopping choice with Coles.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

Yay?
Wtf is a deathly hallow?

ROSE

She was never my favourite Golden Girl, but golly, she was a sweet old lady. She looks like the kind of lady that would give you a whole bowl of really good lollies and slip you fifty bucks when you came to her house for trick-or-treating.

I've been browsing through this wonderful site named BlancheOnline.net.
I wish I had a website named BlancheOnline.net.

"Oh, Rose!" - Dorothy.

THE SONG 'HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS'

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus lane

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

SILVER SURFER FROM FANTASTIC FOUR 2

It's surf's up for next year's Fantastic Four sequel.
In June, the Silver Surfer jumps from page to screen in The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.
With computer-generated imagery techniques similar to those used to create Gollum in The Lord of the Rings, the slippery Surfer, voiced by Doug Jones, "will look somewhere between gun metal and fluid metallics so you can see the body motion, the breathing, the muscle tone, the mood," says Marvel Studios CEO Avi Arad.
The Surfer's mood is key to the story. After striking a deal with the evil Galactus to save his planet, the once-human Surfer wreaks havoc throughout the cosmos. "He is a highly emotional being, trapped inside fluid metal," Arad says.

From USA Today

Slow news day much?
Isn't The Silver Surfer just like every other superhero? Only shiny?
I can't tell you how unenthusiastic this makes me, so I wont even try.

RACH FROM MYSPACE

She is so..... wow.

I only added her to my Myspace because I wanted a way to instantly link my friends to her. Which is cruel. But she won't know.
Interestingly... I'm already on her Top Friends list. And I have never spoken to her. Not one time.

She's.....

...............oh Wow!

Do me a favour and add her to your Myspace. Who wants to wager she won't put you higher on her Top Friends than me? Any takers?

THE WORD 'YUP'

I would have accepted yes, yeah, yeh, yep, yeppers, yah, jah, uh huh, sure, right, affirmative...
In fact, the only thing I wouldn't have accepted is yup.

Yup holds no meaning to me. I consider it linguistically void. I have my reasons.

THE TAINTING CHRISTMAS CONTROVERSY

'Black Christmas' is making some religious groups scream. The slasher flick is set to open on Christmas, much to the horror of some Christians, who are calling for a boycott of the movie.
“It’s a disgrace,” said Michele Combs, director of communications for the Christian Coalition, based in Washington, D.C. “The movie industry has really gone too far, and we are sending out an e-mail asking people to discourage others, especially young people, from seeing it.”

“Christmas is one of our holiest of days,” Combs said. “It is galling that the movie industry would try to destroy the true meaning of Christmas by (releasing) a horror film on that day.”

“It’s another strike against Christmas,” said Robert Marley, co-founder of the Coalition to Save Christmas in Massachusetts. “It’s in bad taste. Not only does it
send a bad message, it’s the further degradation of our holiday.”

From Boston Herald

*sigh*. I really hate the world we live in today. You should actually see the Coalition to Save Christmas website. It's insanity. The whole world has gone nuts for Christmas.

Help us thwart the imminent abolition of Christmas. We need to stand together as one, and make it perfectly clear that enough is enough. It's Christmas! Kindly explain the hypocrisy.
Furthermore, we want Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and Happy Kwanzaa restored in the malls and stores that would have our money. Lets not forget that all December traditions have been removed from most malls and stores.
Notwithstanding, it is the Christmas season not the holiday season, it is a National Holiday, it is a Christmas Tree not a pine tree, and He is the Christmas Santa, not the holiday Santa.

From The Coalition to Save Christmas in Massachusetts

I can just imagine a Coalition meeting with these people:

Christmas Coalition: "Oh my god, you're not going to believe this! The other day, I was at K-Mart and not one person, NOT ONE PERSON, said Merry Christmas to me."
Christian Coalition: "You're kidding me?"
Christmas Coalition: "I shit you not."
Christian Coalition: "Well, did you hear about The Weinstein Company releasing Black Christmas on Christmas Day?"
Christmas Coalition: "No way! Goddamn Jews, slapping baby Jesus in the face YET AGAIN"
Christian Coalition: "Totally!"

You know what, I wasn't going to go see Black Christmas because quite frankly it looks like garbage. But now I have a reason to go. To spite these jerks.

JESSE McCARTNEY FOOT FETISHISTS

Taken from a forum I found while googling Happy Feet...

hyperlad_uk
Nov 12 2006, 09:41
Ah Jesse is so cute and he has really nice feet. They look so soft and nice to play with.
Please don't post negative comments if you are not into feet. Enjoy!

edonis
Nov 12 2006, 15:41
Jesse is completely beautiful, of the feet the head is an I amaze beauty copy

Welsh Boy
Nov 12 2006, 20:29
wow- id so lick his feet and work my way up to his cock

manutdfan4
Nov 12 2006, 22:23
Love a hot young looking blonde guys feet and he has gorgeous feet id love to feel, kiss and lick. Just one problem no sole shots lol.

do_4_me_bo
Nov 13 2006, 00:36
Wat is it with feet?! P.S. he has scank feet!

AvrilLives4ever
Nov 16 2006, 04:18
Yes, I saw these about a month or so ago and...let me tell you...it took everything in me not to lick the screen!

berenger79
Dec 10
2006, 22:16
Mmmmmmmmmmm nice. Sweet face too. Hyperlad you are not alone in loving feet I lie there and lick his feet all day!
*thinks about licking Jesse's feet *
*creams*

battboy
Dec 12 2006, 17:59
Ummm FEET....

JESSE feet....

FEET GOOD

And my personal favourite:

cybercontroller
Dec 10 2006, 22:41
wow!!!!!! i could suck on his big toe for hours and then work my way up! anyone got any pics with his legs spread?

Sheezus Christ....
lol@the term 'scank feet', though.

WII SPORTS

My latest addiction. I hate Hiro and Yoshi in Tennis. I've beaten them so many times before, but I think they've learned to exploit all my weaknesses. That's right. They actually learn!

Think people that get addicted to something like this are pathetic? IS STEPHEN COLBERT PATHETIC? HMM? I thought as much.