CD STORES PLAYING IL DIVO

I was in Sanity the other day, and fucking Il Divo were tenoring so freaking loudly I had to leave.

Can I just ask? WHY AREN'T IL DIVO CONSIDERED LAME? Music stores, go back to blaring your usual Jay-Z feat. Kanye West fodder. At least you can be assured no deafening a capellas with Jay-Z.

GERALD FORD

Confession: I didn't know he was dead until about 4 days afterward. Just like I was a day oblivious to Saddam's hanging express.

Australia should at least PRETEND to care. This should have been top news.
Poor Gerald. Still making absolutely no impact on anything, even in death. I'll mourn you.

Next Celebrity Death Prediction: Still Keith Richards.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

Even without judging him for his actual crimes, I still don't like him. Even though during his trial, he looked the best he ever has, he was still an angry, bitter man.

I only wish they would have given me a little more notice on when his hanging was going down. Because meanwhile, I'm predicting Della Reese.

It just shows how behind I am. Della Reese will probably outlive me.

Next Celebrity Death Prediction: Keith Richards.

WIND IT UP BY GWEN STEFANI

"Wind It Up" received generally negative reviews by contemporary pop music critics, and many criticized the inclusion of the The Sound of Music sample. All Music Guide said that the song's producers (The Neptunes) forced the sampling into one of their typical minimalist tracks, over which Gwen spouts off clumsy material-minded lyrics touting her fashion line and her shape". Chuck Taylor of Billboard magazine referred to the song as "a musical brain aneurysm", while Bill Lamb of About.com stated that it "gets high marks for entertainment value... but [it] sounds almost like a retread of old ground".

from Wikipedia

Ooo, do Edelweiss next!!!! Pale slag.

FANTASTIC FOUR 2 - RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER TEASER

Being able to turn into a speeding fireball = A pointless, horrible superpower.

Being made of stainless steel, being able to fly, being able to traverse through any material... all while on a surfboard = Fucking random much?

Jessica Alba: "Oh my god Johnny!!!! Did you see that guy on a surfboard flying around the city skyline? Stop him before he destroys the earth with his totally stupid, non-threatening abilities!!!!"

Please, what's he going to do? Embarass the earth to death?

Could these movies possibly get any more painful?

ROCKY BALBOA NOT BOMBING

There isn't much in this world, but at least people still have the decency to show a little respect for their rich cultural history. I totally expected this to bomb hard. I guess I have a very undeserved low expectation of the general American/Australian public.

Now let's treat Rambo with the same respect. Okay?

HOW PEOPLE HAVE MADE SANDRA SULTRY A HOUSEHOLD NAME

Fucking MORONS!!! It's evident in the ratings, noone even watches The Wedge. So its clear that you know the show is shit as.

So then it should also be clear that the HORRIBLE running joke of Sandra Sultry is as shit as, if not SHITTER than the entirety of The Wedge.

If I hear one more person treat the name Sandra Sultry like it's some fantastic pop culture term that has been adopted into the 'Aussie' vernacular, I'm going to buy 'The Wedge: Vol. 2 - Lucky', serrate the edges of the discs and slice your face into fifths. You hear me?

Quote The Wedge and die! Watch The Wedge... and you die a little inside, obv.