'EPIC MOVIE MADE #1' DAY

29th January.

A day that shall now be commemorated with the fairly prestigous accolade of being the day Epic Movie achieved the place of the #1 film in the USA, and will now always be remembered as such.

Truthfully, I can recognise how historically signifcant this momentous occasion proves to be, and it is my humble consideration of this that ensures that such an event isn't forgotten as quickly as it should be.

The customs of the annually celebrated Epic Movie Made #1 Day are as follows:

• At dawn, a bugleman will sound a rendition of Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas.


• Commencing immediately after the bugle number, an international minute of non-laughter will take place. A time to reflect on those laughless and fateful hours, a time to grieve for all the ten dollar notes that won't be returned.


• A public stoning of a randomly selected patron that contributed to the film's opening weekend gross will take place at an allocated hour in the time square of every state or territory's capital city.


• January 29th is also named a schooling and working holiday, which strongly emphasises the message of the day. Which is to put off education and constructive productivity and to encourage the writing of awful, incompetent screenplays based off the parody of other, better, films.


• Gift-giving is essential, as is the requirement of all gifts being nothing but empty cardboard boxes wrapped in giftpaper. The recipient's reaction to the valueless present replicates the disappointment, shock, anger and disgust of audiences upon Epic Movie's original release.


• A complimentary screening of Epic Movie itself is optional, only for the fact that forcibly subjecting people to the film annually, or in fact just the once, is not fully advisable.

• All festivities are completely enforced by law and must be participated in.

Ahh, Epic Movie. Today, we celebrate.

!!!!!!!!!HAPPY 'EPIC MOVIE MADE #1' DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!